Introduction

They say most people will experience a few episodes of depression in their lives; these episodes are a more than two week period of various symptons like extreme sadness, lack of sleep, lack of interest in past hobbies etc. People whose depression barely makes it pastore than half of my life, I’ve felt this way. Did I mention I’m only 19? November sweeps are lucky. Then there are people like me, my depression has been going strong longer than Friends was on air. The seasons consist of 5-10 episodes to 20, some seasons are consistent. There are years that I would only experience a few weeks of non-deep depression. But when you are in your eleventh year of being diagnosed with chronic severe depression, your view of it changes: this is way I was programmed, it’s my fate to feel perpetual sadness, and you learn to live with it. You learn to accept it, as hard it may be, some have told me I’m settling on a comfortable stagnant feeling-but at least I am feeling there were times when I honestly felt so sad, so hopeless, that to call me “numb” was an understatement. I was practically a rock. But then again, I do have hope because I have felt happiness, as fleeting as it was, I experienced it. As those of you who have struggled with depression, you know that happiness is something you work toward after you've been able to successfully wake up every morning. So this is my attempt, to not just vent and document my daily battle with depression, but to maybe help another person whose struggling and needs to know there's a way to live with depression, normally, functionally, and work towards happiness.